A few weeks ago, I asked for submissions for the Stupidest Boat Names and I was not disappointed. These are beauties. Thank You! This would not of course had been possible without the support of the awesome Scuttlebutt.
I have tried to categorize them and they have been unscientifically grouped in a totally subjective way that made sense to me after a few beers. I haven't figured my 3 favorites yet but when I do the submitters get CDs of the Top 10 Sailing Songs.
The original list, culled from several web sites, is in the extended posts. If you have any other names to suggest, I will happily add them. Here they are:
Appalling Puns
"Hot Ruddered Bum"
"Si yes da"
"L.L. Boat"
"Sail Bad The Sinner"
"Bow Down"
"Sexual Heeling"
"Ahoy Vey"
"Yacht Sea"
"Makin' Luff"
Financial
"A Crewed Interest"
"Myovadraft"
"The Loan Ranger"
"Colin's Tuition"
Medical
"Biopsea"
"Irritable Bow"
"Bow Movement"
"Sir Osis of the River"
"Vitamin Sea"
"Autopsea"
Sophomoric
"Breakin wind"
"Blow Me"
"Poopy Express"
"Master Baiter"
"My Assiss Dragon"
"Wet Dream"
"Norwegian Woody"
Questionable on a Sailboat
Seen on a Catamaran, "Double Penetration"
"Spank Me" (Raceboat. Imagine the T-Shirts)
"Cunning Stunts"
"Rumple IVskin"
Aquamorons
"Blue Vein Throbber"
"Four Play"
"Sea Clit"
"Seaduced Too"
"Hoosier Daddy"
"Dixie Normous" (they wish)
"Lucky Sperm "
"Show Me The Money"
"Floating Seamen"
"Nauti Lust"
"La-Sea"
Clever
"Maid of Plywood"
"DILLIGAFF" which stands for Do I look like I give a flying f....
"If it doesn't come when you call it, why name it" (An Olympic Trial Finn)
"Weazel" with a tender called "One Eye"
"Change Order" and the dinghy named: "original contract"
"WOFTAM" waste of f'n time and money!
"Miss America" (Nothing as embarrassing as calling into the race committee to get a slip and saying, Race Committee, this is Miss America" or having to wear the shirts!)
"Time and Money"
"Head First"
"Sea Cup" (Skippered by a woman)
"Runs With Scissors"
"Support the Right to Arm Bears "
Relationships
"Don't tell the wife" How about that on a Mayday? Mayday, Mayday, Don't tell the wife!
"Alternative Girlfriend"
"Mom's Mink"
"FUJIMO" - (F___ You Jane, I'm Moving Out ...
"She Got the House"
"Pissed N Broke"
Obscure
"Dances with Sheep" (Kiwi Boat)
"The World's Largest Prairie Dog"
"Shoot Low They're Riding Chickens"
I am not making this up
There was a yacht at the Arun Yacht Club called "Passing Wind." About 10 miles to the west is the Looe Passage, around SDelsey Bill, West Sussex. A crew member was hit by the boom,and the owner called out the coastguard. "What is your name and position?" "We are Passing Wind, in the Looe"
Top 10 Stupid Boat Names
A while ago, I came across the Top 10 Boat Names according to Boat US. Many of them are plain stupid, not least the #1 boat name, Aquaholic. Pu-lease!
In doing a bit of digging around, I found some other dumb names for a boat. Panbo had some great ones like the one pictured here. Imagine calling Mayday on your VHF in this boat.
Bernie Ebbers, the jailed former CEO of Worldcom's yacht was called Aquasition. He deserved time for that alone.
I thought it might be a good wide to come up with the top 10 Stupidest Boat names.
Here are some other beauties I found pecking around:
- a Little Nauti
- Adoryble (On a Cape Dory Typhoon)
- All Gulls and No Buoys
- All my Ex's (on a stinkpot so had it coming)
- Bad Atti-toad
- Bada-bing-bada boom (another aquamoron)
- Banker's Hours
- Bay Bay
- Baysic Necessity
- Beaverlicious (hmm! interesting)
- Beer Bait n 'Ammo
- Bezerker (a little scary as it was on a Hallberg Rassy)
- Better Knot
- Between the Sheets
- Big E Nuf (amazingly this was a sailboat. Probably motored a lot)
- Bikini Bottom
- Bimini Cricket
- Bite Me (on a fishing boat)
- Knotty Boys (at least it wasn't knotty buoys)
- Messing About (what an excellent name for a boat)
- Gravyboat
- Bottoms Up
- Boat-acious
- Buoys in the Hood
- Learning Curve (written upside down on a sailboat)
- Sea-duction
- Sea ya
- Loon-a-sea
- Cur-n-Sea
- SeaRenity
- Tip Sea
- Seanile
- X2Sea
- LegaSea
- Itza -Du-Zea (Oyvay)
- Tax Seavation
- Slipless in Seattle (now that's clever)
- Feelin Nauti (I bet you are)
- Nauti Girl
- Nauti & Nice
- Reel Nauti
- Nauti Nurses (I think most of the Eastern Fleet would show up if they ran into trouble)
- Nauti Intentions (OK now I am going to throw up)
My Boat is The: Scurvy Knave
Posted by: Scott Thompson | October 20, 2011 at 10:43 AM
Why those boats are stupid.is their any problem with that boats.
Posted by: funny forum | November 09, 2011 at 06:20 AM
Some funny boat names I've seen... Key of Sea, Time Thief, Dilligaf (do I look like I give a f---), Hard Drive, Lawn Dart, and Aquadisiac. The first two are powerboats.
Posted by: funny posts | November 24, 2011 at 02:36 AM
Maine lobster boats have some pretty awesome names... She's all wet, lobstah mobstah, size matters, high maintainance, etc, etc
Posted by: Jcp | February 17, 2012 at 10:30 PM
Super cute! My little man would look so stylin' in those!
Posted by: New Timberland | March 26, 2012 at 01:39 AM
How about 'Prawn Star'
Posted by: Tim | March 26, 2012 at 06:32 PM
UK calling in
Seen on a racing 4 on the Thames
NORFOLK n' CHANCE
Posted by: John G | May 02, 2012 at 05:21 AM
honorable mention ... or dishonorable mention or whatever category might apply would be a race boat I once knew that was named "Myasisaur", with a logo on the side of the head of a carnivorous dinosaur
Posted by: Pat | May 23, 2012 at 01:18 AM
What about 6-Pack
A Muira from Cape Town
Posted by: Mike | June 04, 2012 at 10:17 AM
Outrageously equipped 30' center console in Galveston Bay "My Dixie Wrecked"
Posted by: My what? | June 11, 2012 at 01:24 PM
There is a charter fishing boat in Newport, RI, named "Buckin' Fitch" and her cpat. is usually 3 sheets to the wind.
Posted by: pappadoc | July 07, 2012 at 12:10 PM
awesome stuff!!!
Another Wet Dream
seen port a tx ... typical
Posted by: roger | July 20, 2012 at 06:10 PM
I realize this is an old post, but I always enjoy a good "bad boat names" discussion. I was, however, saddened to see one what I believe to be the best boat names around on the list: FUJIMO. Not only was that a gorgeous boat that I remember ogling on the docks as a teenager, the story behind it was great. Plus, even if you didn't know the story, it sounded tough as hell.
Posted by: Erin | July 31, 2012 at 10:39 AM
I have to ask why does a boat need a name? I guess some guys love their boats more then their own women. Can't blame them. Their boats don't have attitude.
Posted by: Mike | October 23, 2012 at 12:13 PM
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Posted by: Marcia J. Farrington | February 09, 2013 at 11:26 AM
Best boat name ever - "Blow Me" on a 22' Sailboat.
Posted by: James Smith | March 28, 2013 at 07:44 PM