A few weeks ago, I asked for submissions for the Stupidest Boat Names and I was not disappointed. These are beauties. Thank You! This would not of course had been possible without the support of the awesome Scuttlebutt.
I have tried to categorize them and they have been unscientifically grouped in a totally subjective way that made sense to me after a few beers. I haven't figured my 3 favorites yet but when I do the submitters get CDs of the Top 10 Sailing Songs.
The original list, culled from several web sites, is in the extended posts. If you have any other names to suggest, I will happily add them. Here they are:
"Hot Ruddered Bum"
"Si yes da"
"Sail Bad The Sinner"
"A Crewed Interest"
"The Loan Ranger"
"Sir Osis of the River"
"My Assiss Dragon"
Questionable on a Sailboat
Seen on a Catamaran, "Double Penetration"
"Spank Me" (Raceboat. Imagine the T-Shirts)
"Blue Vein Throbber"
"Dixie Normous" (they wish)
"Lucky Sperm "
"Show Me The Money"
"Maid of Plywood"
"DILLIGAFF" which stands for Do I look like I give a flying f....
"If it doesn't come when you call it, why name it" (An Olympic Trial Finn)
"Weazel" with a tender called "One Eye"
"Change Order" and the dinghy named: "original contract"
"WOFTAM" waste of f'n time and money!
"Miss America" (Nothing as embarrassing as calling into the race committee to get a slip and saying, Race Committee, this is Miss America" or having to wear the shirts!)
"Time and Money"
"Sea Cup" (Skippered by a woman)
"Runs With Scissors"
"Support the Right to Arm Bears "
"Don't tell the wife" How about that on a Mayday? Mayday, Mayday, Don't tell the wife!
"FUJIMO" - (F___ You Jane, I'm Moving Out ...
"She Got the House"
"Pissed N Broke"
"Dances with Sheep" (Kiwi Boat)
"The World's Largest Prairie Dog"
"Shoot Low They're Riding Chickens"
I am not making this up
There was a yacht at the Arun Yacht Club called "Passing Wind." About 10 miles to the west is the Looe Passage, around SDelsey Bill, West Sussex. A crew member was hit by the boom,and the owner called out the coastguard. "What is your name and position?" "We are Passing Wind, in the Looe"
Top 10 Stupid Boat Names
A while ago, I came across the Top 10 Boat Names according to Boat US. Many of them are plain stupid, not least the #1 boat name, Aquaholic. Pu-lease!
In doing a bit of digging around, I found some other dumb names for a boat. Panbo had some great ones like the one pictured here. Imagine calling Mayday on your VHF in this boat.
Bernie Ebbers, the jailed former CEO of Worldcom's yacht was called Aquasition. He deserved time for that alone.
I thought it might be a good wide to come up with the top 10 Stupidest Boat names.
Here are some other beauties I found pecking around:
- a Little Nauti
- Adoryble (On a Cape Dory Typhoon)
- All Gulls and No Buoys
- All my Ex's (on a stinkpot so had it coming)
- Bad Atti-toad
- Bada-bing-bada boom (another aquamoron)
- Banker's Hours
- Bay Bay
- Baysic Necessity
- Beaverlicious (hmm! interesting)
- Beer Bait n 'Ammo
- Bezerker (a little scary as it was on a Hallberg Rassy)
- Better Knot
- Between the Sheets
- Big E Nuf (amazingly this was a sailboat. Probably motored a lot)
- Bikini Bottom
- Bimini Cricket
- Bite Me (on a fishing boat)
- Knotty Boys (at least it wasn't knotty buoys)
- Messing About (what an excellent name for a boat)
- Bottoms Up
- Buoys in the Hood
- Learning Curve (written upside down on a sailboat)
- Sea ya
- Tip Sea
- Itza -Du-Zea (Oyvay)
- Tax Seavation
- Slipless in Seattle (now that's clever)
- Feelin Nauti (I bet you are)
- Nauti Girl
- Nauti & Nice
- Reel Nauti
- Nauti Nurses (I think most of the Eastern Fleet would show up if they ran into trouble)
- Nauti Intentions (OK now I am going to throw up)